Sometimes it takes years for a person to know why they are studying a certain major, or working a particular field. One may sit there questioning what got them to that place and if it was the right path. I think I am blessed to have been granted all doors to a variety of paths and left to choose which I want to take and work on where it will lead me.
It’s coming close to two months since I got to Wales, to be honest not much classwork or studying is done, pretty much it is all up to me and how I run my show. Taking me a while to adjust to that, but I am getting there. “You decide what you do with your time, only you decide if you want to read, write, discuss, think, anything. There is no right or wrong. There is no do or don’t. At this stage of your life it is up to you to manoeuvre your career.” Says my lecturer whom I have grown to have a lot of respect and admiration to.
My first of 4 work placements this year was at Careers Wales, small office, close knit team, family like atmosphere and the most hardworking bunch of individuals I have ever come across. They welcomed me, asked me a lot about myself, my past, my plans and really embraced my interest in their field of work. I was thrown in the deep end but never alone, someone always held my hand and made sure to not let go until I confirmed I could tread water. A week that opened my eyes to the world of career guidance and counseling, allowing me to implement first-hand the core elements (Listening, observing, discussing, deciding and finally advising) of advising and dealing with adults made redundant, people with disabilities, college students and my core group of study, adolescents.
Never in my life have I had to deal with children who have been raped, or adults who have sever progressing diseases. I had to shake myself up a couple of times to get myself back on track and not let my emotions take me astray. Made me more determined to take on all that I can from this experience and bring it home. God knows how many people need help, support and guidance. There’s so much out there, just not exposed to the right people in the right way. Big plans for when I get home, but that’s for another blog, not this.
I guess this time; the dedication goes out to every single member of Careers Wales, Pontypridd office for all their hard work and commitment to what they do. It takes a lot to wake up every morning and know you are about to meet someone who literally says “I don’t know what to do with my life” and you take responsibility in helping them shape that up again. I salute you all, thank you for allowing me to part of your team and showing me how humanitarians work.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The Wales are keeping me alive!
I always had difficulty leaving home, especially the first few days or so. There are always doubt in my mind and questions that I feel I will never get answers to. Why am I here? Did I have to leave? What if something bad happens at home and I am not there? Why me? It’s typical and only normal to be that way I suppose. As soon as I’d settle, all would be well and I would end up laughing at the nonsense I went through at the start. THIS TIME round…..boy oh boy was it different and I type this with a huge smile on my face :-) …..Let me share why (oh, feel free to smile with me)…
Probably the saddest feeling in the world is to be at home and feel like you do not belong. You have everything you could possibly need right at your finger trips, a good job, the greatest family, the sweetest friends yet it just didn’t feel right and I was extremely miserable inside. Was it because I was used to being abroad for 6 years that I felt that perhaps my freedom was somewhere else? Was it due to limited opportunity options in my own country? I am not too sure, whatever it is, it was making me very unhappy and I felt I needed to get away. Luckily, it fell along the lines of my career development and I just grabbed the chance I got and ran with it, ran like I saw heaven right in front of me, aimed at it with a smile and took off…:-)
Landed and straight away felt like home (ironic as this is where I was born). My darling mother was with me the first week and seeing how happy I was and how comfortable I felt scared her as she was not used to me being this way whenever I left home. Reassuring her didn’t work; a mother will always worry and not be at ease when things aren’t “normal”. “I feel you are being sarcastic” she told me several times whenever she asked how I feel and I’d reply with “mama, I feel amazing, I feel great, I am so happy”.
Nevertheless, she had to go back home and I officially started my new life, tricky as I am surrounded by the “younger” generation. Lucky for me I look like I am 19 so I blend in pretty well. Partied like a mad person at the beginning, but stopped when seriousness started and my mission for being here commenced. It feels like a brand new fresh start, my happiness comes from deep within and I believe no matter how I express it, nobody will actually know.
I am happy, VERY happy…:-)
This entry is dedicated to Wales, for giving me a chance at pursing my career, opening opportunity doors and most importantly bringing me back to life again.
Probably the saddest feeling in the world is to be at home and feel like you do not belong. You have everything you could possibly need right at your finger trips, a good job, the greatest family, the sweetest friends yet it just didn’t feel right and I was extremely miserable inside. Was it because I was used to being abroad for 6 years that I felt that perhaps my freedom was somewhere else? Was it due to limited opportunity options in my own country? I am not too sure, whatever it is, it was making me very unhappy and I felt I needed to get away. Luckily, it fell along the lines of my career development and I just grabbed the chance I got and ran with it, ran like I saw heaven right in front of me, aimed at it with a smile and took off…:-)
Landed and straight away felt like home (ironic as this is where I was born). My darling mother was with me the first week and seeing how happy I was and how comfortable I felt scared her as she was not used to me being this way whenever I left home. Reassuring her didn’t work; a mother will always worry and not be at ease when things aren’t “normal”. “I feel you are being sarcastic” she told me several times whenever she asked how I feel and I’d reply with “mama, I feel amazing, I feel great, I am so happy”.
Nevertheless, she had to go back home and I officially started my new life, tricky as I am surrounded by the “younger” generation. Lucky for me I look like I am 19 so I blend in pretty well. Partied like a mad person at the beginning, but stopped when seriousness started and my mission for being here commenced. It feels like a brand new fresh start, my happiness comes from deep within and I believe no matter how I express it, nobody will actually know.
I am happy, VERY happy…:-)
This entry is dedicated to Wales, for giving me a chance at pursing my career, opening opportunity doors and most importantly bringing me back to life again.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
The beginning of the rest of my life
Yes, the time has come. It’s been a while since I updated, been caught up with a lot and although at many times I had the urge to write, it just never happened and I was out of “the zone”.
Going abroad was always a piece of cake to me, however the transition wasn’t and the travel was even worse. Prepping to leave the country is a hassle, I tend to stress, panic, get worked up over nothing and above all throw the worst tantrums and have the most annoying mood swings you can imagine. In short, NO you do NOT want to be around me when I am preparing for a travel.
Nevertheless, this time round, the trip is different. I feel much more ready to face what’s ahead. I’ve got the right mind-set I suppose and at the same time I am extremely excited to start the journey and just get deep, dirty and grimy. The stakes are a lot higher now therefore my socks have to be pulled REAL up!!
I’ve pictured Cardiff to be many things in my mind, but I’d rather to put them down yet. The suspense is amusing and it makes me more eager to get there and actually experience it first hand before I update again.
Yes I am nervous and my heart is pounding, but I have faith, I have belief, I have courage and most importantly determination.
I dedicate this entry to the ones who have encouraged and supported me the most, the ones who constantly called and visited to check if I needed anything, the adorable ones who came home to help me back, the sweethearts who gave me a piece of them to take with me and the ones who will have me in their prayers and thoughts throughout my time away. I bid you farewell, until…… ;-)
Going abroad was always a piece of cake to me, however the transition wasn’t and the travel was even worse. Prepping to leave the country is a hassle, I tend to stress, panic, get worked up over nothing and above all throw the worst tantrums and have the most annoying mood swings you can imagine. In short, NO you do NOT want to be around me when I am preparing for a travel.
Nevertheless, this time round, the trip is different. I feel much more ready to face what’s ahead. I’ve got the right mind-set I suppose and at the same time I am extremely excited to start the journey and just get deep, dirty and grimy. The stakes are a lot higher now therefore my socks have to be pulled REAL up!!
I’ve pictured Cardiff to be many things in my mind, but I’d rather to put them down yet. The suspense is amusing and it makes me more eager to get there and actually experience it first hand before I update again.
Yes I am nervous and my heart is pounding, but I have faith, I have belief, I have courage and most importantly determination.
I dedicate this entry to the ones who have encouraged and supported me the most, the ones who constantly called and visited to check if I needed anything, the adorable ones who came home to help me back, the sweethearts who gave me a piece of them to take with me and the ones who will have me in their prayers and thoughts throughout my time away. I bid you farewell, until…… ;-)
The Red GAP
So, seeing as we were never close, what in the world gave u the right to enter my life the way you did?
Just like that, out of nowhere, your kind soul finds itself shielding me.
Falling down from “heaven” or should I said “a holiday”, you just placed your heart over mine and claimed it your own.
Maybe it is, Maybe it isn’t, time will tell. For now, I’ll just enjoy the red GAP, I am smiling at it right now and I will continue smiling at it every time I miss you.
To you my “shinning golden shooting star”, I dedicate this blog entry.
Just like that, out of nowhere, your kind soul finds itself shielding me.
Falling down from “heaven” or should I said “a holiday”, you just placed your heart over mine and claimed it your own.
Maybe it is, Maybe it isn’t, time will tell. For now, I’ll just enjoy the red GAP, I am smiling at it right now and I will continue smiling at it every time I miss you.
To you my “shinning golden shooting star”, I dedicate this blog entry.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Death at a Funeral
It didn’t hit me 2 months ago when I was told she was suddenly ill and was admitted in hospital, it sorta pinched me when I was told she was sent to India for treatment and came back half her size, it started hitting me when I was told it was cancer, it played around in my head when I was told she’s in ICU and nobody can see her, it tore my heart to visit her in hospital and only see her through the glass window where she waved and smiled at me, it finally took its toll on me two days after that when I was told she rested in peace.
Got the call that totally woke me up, it was 9 am, by 9:30 I had gotten in my car and was driving to the funeral house. My heart was pounding, but I was able to compose myself. Still in shock and disbelief at how everything happened so quickly. I reached there and many people had arrived already. Tears were flowing and for the next couple of hours, sadness and sorrow took over the family. Indeed, it was touching and very heart breaking for me to look into her daughters eyes. There was so much I felt I needed to say, but no words could come out. The stronger I held her, the more she cried, so I slowly let go and watched her ease back.
As I got myself comfortable in a corner, I locked my eyes on the ground and allowed my ears to suck in as much of the surrounding sounds as possible and then I looked around…….and observed.
The people:
1. The one who wails and screams and throws herself on the ground…….half an hour later, she’s chatting and giggling.
2. The one who greets you by saying “oh hey…its been a while!! You’re so beautiful”
3. The one just sits there and just stares at everyone, not even giving condolences.
4. The one who asks “so where’s the food?”
5. The one who does not say a word, but sits alone in the room upstairs, away from everyone and just prays.
The rooms:
1. The main hall where everyone gathers, if not in time of prayers, it is full of whispers, and small talks here and there. In a corner, immediate family members are seated together so it is easier for visitors to approach them.
2. The little rooms close to the main hall for the elderly people to have a more comfortable place to stay at, usually having their own conversations which are either of other deaths or people who are not well.
3. The kitchen where all the madness happens! The loudest of all! That is where the person’s life is truly celebrated. It is where the women are remembering the “good old days” in the midst of preparing the feast. They are just so busy and so occupied with what they are doing so joyfully that they block any sound coming from the main hall.
4. The room upstairs. For the most sad, the most in pain, the most torn and the most broken. The quietest of all rooms, you can almost hear a pin drop. You avoid talking in there. It is a time for reflection, a time to thank god for the blessings he had given you and to accept what has happened, pray and move on.
My cousin was a very strong woman with a personality bigger than the world, a total sweetheart, someone who always brought the family together during our good and bad times. Single handedly raised her two children, adopted another two and always catered to her nieces and nephews like they were her own.
Yes cousin A, this blog is dedicated to you, I love you and I will forever miss you. Thank you for always admiring my career, thank you for constantly telling me how much my mother loves me, thank you for always teaching me that family comes first, thank you for making fun of my single life and forever trying to get me married to “this pilot” and “that doctor” and “this nice Swahili boy”, good times, really good times. May your beautiful and clean soul rest in peace. Amen.
Got the call that totally woke me up, it was 9 am, by 9:30 I had gotten in my car and was driving to the funeral house. My heart was pounding, but I was able to compose myself. Still in shock and disbelief at how everything happened so quickly. I reached there and many people had arrived already. Tears were flowing and for the next couple of hours, sadness and sorrow took over the family. Indeed, it was touching and very heart breaking for me to look into her daughters eyes. There was so much I felt I needed to say, but no words could come out. The stronger I held her, the more she cried, so I slowly let go and watched her ease back.
As I got myself comfortable in a corner, I locked my eyes on the ground and allowed my ears to suck in as much of the surrounding sounds as possible and then I looked around…….and observed.
The people:
1. The one who wails and screams and throws herself on the ground…….half an hour later, she’s chatting and giggling.
2. The one who greets you by saying “oh hey…its been a while!! You’re so beautiful”
3. The one just sits there and just stares at everyone, not even giving condolences.
4. The one who asks “so where’s the food?”
5. The one who does not say a word, but sits alone in the room upstairs, away from everyone and just prays.
The rooms:
1. The main hall where everyone gathers, if not in time of prayers, it is full of whispers, and small talks here and there. In a corner, immediate family members are seated together so it is easier for visitors to approach them.
2. The little rooms close to the main hall for the elderly people to have a more comfortable place to stay at, usually having their own conversations which are either of other deaths or people who are not well.
3. The kitchen where all the madness happens! The loudest of all! That is where the person’s life is truly celebrated. It is where the women are remembering the “good old days” in the midst of preparing the feast. They are just so busy and so occupied with what they are doing so joyfully that they block any sound coming from the main hall.
4. The room upstairs. For the most sad, the most in pain, the most torn and the most broken. The quietest of all rooms, you can almost hear a pin drop. You avoid talking in there. It is a time for reflection, a time to thank god for the blessings he had given you and to accept what has happened, pray and move on.
My cousin was a very strong woman with a personality bigger than the world, a total sweetheart, someone who always brought the family together during our good and bad times. Single handedly raised her two children, adopted another two and always catered to her nieces and nephews like they were her own.
Yes cousin A, this blog is dedicated to you, I love you and I will forever miss you. Thank you for always admiring my career, thank you for constantly telling me how much my mother loves me, thank you for always teaching me that family comes first, thank you for making fun of my single life and forever trying to get me married to “this pilot” and “that doctor” and “this nice Swahili boy”, good times, really good times. May your beautiful and clean soul rest in peace. Amen.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Alana Banana....
In utter shock..
Such a barbie and a sweetheart of a person...
Taken away by a cruel disease...
You were one proper blondie, inside and out, hilarious comments and the out of this world fashion sense.
You certainly stood out at uni.
I am blessed to have known you and lucky to have a pieace of you everytime I look through my wardrobe and see that nurse's outfit you lent me for halloween ;-)
To you, Alana, this blog entry is dedicated. Every tear dropping is only a fraction of my sadness to loosing you.
Such a barbie and a sweetheart of a person...
Taken away by a cruel disease...
You were one proper blondie, inside and out, hilarious comments and the out of this world fashion sense.
You certainly stood out at uni.
I am blessed to have known you and lucky to have a pieace of you everytime I look through my wardrobe and see that nurse's outfit you lent me for halloween ;-)
To you, Alana, this blog entry is dedicated. Every tear dropping is only a fraction of my sadness to loosing you.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
I never thought he knew my name even...
One year ago exactly, in the midst of all the chaos of starting the new academic year, the receptionist comes running into my office ranting about a person who’s not a student in our institution roaming around campus!
Stupidity was at its peak I guess, since she did not bother calling security or better yet, speaking to the boy himself and asking him who he was and was there a purpose for him roaming around campus. Anyway, I eventually had to go see to it myself and he seemed to be a bit disturbed at why everyone was giving him attention all of a sudden. "I am not an intruder, I am not a trouble maker, I just want to use the library". He was shivering!!!
At that sight, I just smiled at home, patted his shoulder and told him to calm down and that he is not under any attack.
Me: What do you need?
Him: I am a student at SQU, but this is my last year and I do not have any classes, just my thesis to complete. Since I live close by, I was wondering if I could use the library for my reserach instead of driving all the way to SQU.
Me: Sure, you may. Just register every time you enter the premises ok?
Him: *silence* ok is that it?
Me: Yes.
Him: Thank you. I'm very sorry.
Me: No no, there’s no need to apologize. Take it easy and good luck with your thesis.
Now, from that time on, I kept seeing him around campus, casually greeting him, asking him about his research. No conversation per say, just a mere sentence or two. That's it.
Yesterday marked a year since that incident. I was alone in my office just reading through emails as I do every morning. He walked in...
Him: Morning Miss
Me: Good Morning Mohammed, how are you today?
Him: Fine thank you. Miss, I just wanted to say goodbye, I've been accepted to pursue my masters in the states and this is for you. *places an envelope on my desk*
Me: Wow! Congrats! I wish you all the best.
*Phone rings* He excuses himself and we wave goodbye to each other.
That phone call got me occupied for a while after that, it was about 15 or 20 mins after that I remembered he handed me something.
A very nicely sealed letter, with my name typed in bold at the front. I opened it up, a one page short letter, very well structured, and ended up bringing tears of joy down my face.
"Since I will be leaving the university soon, I am writing this letter to thank you for the way you have treated me during my frequent visits to the center; starting from the day you have welcomed me into it and all the way up to now. You are one of kind, charming, helpful and friendly nature attracts all of those whom you deal with such as myself and all of the students on college as well. Now, it is my common habit to be kind to those who are close to me and those who have been grateful to me (you). Therefore, I would really appreciate it if you could pass the date of your birthday to my email so that I can record it on my calendar and get you something special on your special day. Otherwise, I could just send a letter to your boss or head of college informing them of how much an asset you are to them. Best wishes"
The last part is very cute and cheeky, but overall the letter is one that touched me deeply. Showed me that a little gesture can do a lot and that a person can remember you just by your doing a little deed towards them.
This letter not only made my day, but made my year. As I end this entry, yes Mohammed, indeed, this is all dedicated to you. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile and feel good about myself and my achievements.
Stupidity was at its peak I guess, since she did not bother calling security or better yet, speaking to the boy himself and asking him who he was and was there a purpose for him roaming around campus. Anyway, I eventually had to go see to it myself and he seemed to be a bit disturbed at why everyone was giving him attention all of a sudden. "I am not an intruder, I am not a trouble maker, I just want to use the library". He was shivering!!!
At that sight, I just smiled at home, patted his shoulder and told him to calm down and that he is not under any attack.
Me: What do you need?
Him: I am a student at SQU, but this is my last year and I do not have any classes, just my thesis to complete. Since I live close by, I was wondering if I could use the library for my reserach instead of driving all the way to SQU.
Me: Sure, you may. Just register every time you enter the premises ok?
Him: *silence* ok is that it?
Me: Yes.
Him: Thank you. I'm very sorry.
Me: No no, there’s no need to apologize. Take it easy and good luck with your thesis.
Now, from that time on, I kept seeing him around campus, casually greeting him, asking him about his research. No conversation per say, just a mere sentence or two. That's it.
Yesterday marked a year since that incident. I was alone in my office just reading through emails as I do every morning. He walked in...
Him: Morning Miss
Me: Good Morning Mohammed, how are you today?
Him: Fine thank you. Miss, I just wanted to say goodbye, I've been accepted to pursue my masters in the states and this is for you. *places an envelope on my desk*
Me: Wow! Congrats! I wish you all the best.
*Phone rings* He excuses himself and we wave goodbye to each other.
That phone call got me occupied for a while after that, it was about 15 or 20 mins after that I remembered he handed me something.
A very nicely sealed letter, with my name typed in bold at the front. I opened it up, a one page short letter, very well structured, and ended up bringing tears of joy down my face.
"Since I will be leaving the university soon, I am writing this letter to thank you for the way you have treated me during my frequent visits to the center; starting from the day you have welcomed me into it and all the way up to now. You are one of kind, charming, helpful and friendly nature attracts all of those whom you deal with such as myself and all of the students on college as well. Now, it is my common habit to be kind to those who are close to me and those who have been grateful to me (you). Therefore, I would really appreciate it if you could pass the date of your birthday to my email so that I can record it on my calendar and get you something special on your special day. Otherwise, I could just send a letter to your boss or head of college informing them of how much an asset you are to them. Best wishes"
The last part is very cute and cheeky, but overall the letter is one that touched me deeply. Showed me that a little gesture can do a lot and that a person can remember you just by your doing a little deed towards them.
This letter not only made my day, but made my year. As I end this entry, yes Mohammed, indeed, this is all dedicated to you. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile and feel good about myself and my achievements.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wang/Fred
Just when I was looking for a topic for my next entry, I get the shocking news of your death. You always showed up at the time of need, even when you parted us.
Do you remember how we met?
Winter semester 2007, our first meet together as RAs in the same building. We didn't get along with the rest of the japs that well, except Yuya, he was special. We clicked really well and I remember constantly asking you to transate things I didn't understand in Japanese and your responce would always be the same "Sabriya, you gotta remember, I am not Japanese, I am Taiwanese, we don't speak the same language!" loool. Still cracks me up.
When hard times hit, you were always looking bright, with a big smile and never letting anything get you down. I remember the long chats we used to have after making sure kitchen duty is done, we promised to keep thinking positively no matter what and to keep smiling through it all.
I'm sorry for not looking out for you after graduation, not so "senpai" of me, I know. You should have looked after your health a lot more.
You were always a peacful person, so kind and thoughtful. Even when you passed, you did it quietly in your sleep. You're girlfriend says thats how they found you, in your pyjamas, on bed. I hope it was not the crazy funny ones you always wore in AP House :-)
Rest in peace my friend. Thank you for the great times, thank you for the loyal friendship, thank you for giving me my first rose as soon as I received my graduation certificate, but most importantly, thank you for always being there.
I love you and I miss you very much.
Dedicated to Wang aka Fred :-)
Do you remember how we met?
Winter semester 2007, our first meet together as RAs in the same building. We didn't get along with the rest of the japs that well, except Yuya, he was special. We clicked really well and I remember constantly asking you to transate things I didn't understand in Japanese and your responce would always be the same "Sabriya, you gotta remember, I am not Japanese, I am Taiwanese, we don't speak the same language!" loool. Still cracks me up.
When hard times hit, you were always looking bright, with a big smile and never letting anything get you down. I remember the long chats we used to have after making sure kitchen duty is done, we promised to keep thinking positively no matter what and to keep smiling through it all.
I'm sorry for not looking out for you after graduation, not so "senpai" of me, I know. You should have looked after your health a lot more.
You were always a peacful person, so kind and thoughtful. Even when you passed, you did it quietly in your sleep. You're girlfriend says thats how they found you, in your pyjamas, on bed. I hope it was not the crazy funny ones you always wore in AP House :-)
Rest in peace my friend. Thank you for the great times, thank you for the loyal friendship, thank you for giving me my first rose as soon as I received my graduation certificate, but most importantly, thank you for always being there.
I love you and I miss you very much.
Dedicated to Wang aka Fred :-)
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Friendshits....
Yes, a topic we can all relate to. Isn't it just amazing that at some point in our lives we feel so lucky and blessed and happy to have the perfect friends, those who are always there and form a great support system? Yes it is.
And at other points, we question our actions and motives when those very friends turn into the meanest rudest most heartbreaking monsters on the face of this earth. Really makes me wonder....
Trust is a big issue; no matter how close you get to a person you can never ever trust them. I fail to understand how one can say "I trust you with my life", oh really?! How?
I recently got into an octagon of lies and betrayal amongst friends of mine. I was trying my best not to get involved, but once you're pulled in then that’s it, there’s absolutely no way out. What’s worse is while the storm is going on, a lot comes out and secrets are revealed which causes shock, disappointment and obviously lots and lots and lots of pain.
I have always admired my foreign friends, especially my people in South Africa. It just fascinates me how in almost every circle of friends you find that half of them slept with each other YET all keep that friendship and it’s all good, everyone is happy! loool. Makes me laugh thinking about it.
HERE on the other hand, it’s a whole different story. I think we are still trying to grasp the idea of having a male as a friend, let alone anything more than that and having other people get in between. ohhh the dramas!!!!!
How important is it to have a loyal friend? Do you need one? How much of value does one have in your life?
I know maaaaaaaaaaaaaaany people, and I have a loooooooooooot of "friends", but those close ones or the ones I love the most I do not call friends as they immediately get into the family category and I only put them there as soon as my family approves of them.
I've learnt a lot from my mistakes and reached to a state with I will not tolerate any nonsense. The minute I see you bring negativity in my life or you do not become of value to me, I am not afraid to cut you off, just like that, OUT! And NO, I will not feel bad about it, call me heartless but that’s the reality of it all. Why keep you when I see you take me to a dark whole. I'd rather be alone thank you very much.
Enough venting this time....In closing, I dedicate this to those who have made into my circle of close knit "friends" or as I like to call them, my special extended family members. You know very well who you are :-)
And at other points, we question our actions and motives when those very friends turn into the meanest rudest most heartbreaking monsters on the face of this earth. Really makes me wonder....
Trust is a big issue; no matter how close you get to a person you can never ever trust them. I fail to understand how one can say "I trust you with my life", oh really?! How?
I recently got into an octagon of lies and betrayal amongst friends of mine. I was trying my best not to get involved, but once you're pulled in then that’s it, there’s absolutely no way out. What’s worse is while the storm is going on, a lot comes out and secrets are revealed which causes shock, disappointment and obviously lots and lots and lots of pain.
I have always admired my foreign friends, especially my people in South Africa. It just fascinates me how in almost every circle of friends you find that half of them slept with each other YET all keep that friendship and it’s all good, everyone is happy! loool. Makes me laugh thinking about it.
HERE on the other hand, it’s a whole different story. I think we are still trying to grasp the idea of having a male as a friend, let alone anything more than that and having other people get in between. ohhh the dramas!!!!!
How important is it to have a loyal friend? Do you need one? How much of value does one have in your life?
I know maaaaaaaaaaaaaaany people, and I have a loooooooooooot of "friends", but those close ones or the ones I love the most I do not call friends as they immediately get into the family category and I only put them there as soon as my family approves of them.
I've learnt a lot from my mistakes and reached to a state with I will not tolerate any nonsense. The minute I see you bring negativity in my life or you do not become of value to me, I am not afraid to cut you off, just like that, OUT! And NO, I will not feel bad about it, call me heartless but that’s the reality of it all. Why keep you when I see you take me to a dark whole. I'd rather be alone thank you very much.
Enough venting this time....In closing, I dedicate this to those who have made into my circle of close knit "friends" or as I like to call them, my special extended family members. You know very well who you are :-)
Monday, June 20, 2011
Wake up and smell the Abaya
This is a topic I've been meaning to write about for a while now and so glad that I finaly have the chance!
What is the deal with Abayas here?? Worn at work, the mall, retaurants, even the freakin beach!!!!!
Ok, I completely respect the Arab muslim attire, which is why I feel it should be worn appropriately at the right place and time.
Why wear it at the mall if it is going to drag all the dust from the floor and then take it all back home. EWWW GROSS!!!
Why wear it at work when it gets stuck around the wheels on the chair, or on table corners or between elevator doors and cause you to get seriously injured! Or wait, a classic example, girls who work in the engineering labs who wear them! You deal with chemicals, things could catch fire, can you not think and be realistic about your choice of outfits! agggg it really angers me!
Other than those who work in labs, Abayaed Doctors surprise me too! There is nothing neat about it, it does not even look nice with the coat over it.
Come on, if it is about being covered then there are different ways of dressing up fully covered, loose and long outfits that would fit any muslim Arab woman well as the scarf would complete it perfectly.
I believe the Abaya is a very beautiful piece of clothing that truly stresses on Arabi fashion and beauty. It's designs have reached high ranked fashion industries all over the world. All the more reason for it to be preserved and not just worn everywhere and anywhere. It just takes away its value by doing that...
But then again, thats just my opinion,dedicated to Paul....venting done, over and out!
What is the deal with Abayas here?? Worn at work, the mall, retaurants, even the freakin beach!!!!!
Ok, I completely respect the Arab muslim attire, which is why I feel it should be worn appropriately at the right place and time.
Why wear it at the mall if it is going to drag all the dust from the floor and then take it all back home. EWWW GROSS!!!
Why wear it at work when it gets stuck around the wheels on the chair, or on table corners or between elevator doors and cause you to get seriously injured! Or wait, a classic example, girls who work in the engineering labs who wear them! You deal with chemicals, things could catch fire, can you not think and be realistic about your choice of outfits! agggg it really angers me!
Other than those who work in labs, Abayaed Doctors surprise me too! There is nothing neat about it, it does not even look nice with the coat over it.
Come on, if it is about being covered then there are different ways of dressing up fully covered, loose and long outfits that would fit any muslim Arab woman well as the scarf would complete it perfectly.
I believe the Abaya is a very beautiful piece of clothing that truly stresses on Arabi fashion and beauty. It's designs have reached high ranked fashion industries all over the world. All the more reason for it to be preserved and not just worn everywhere and anywhere. It just takes away its value by doing that...
But then again, thats just my opinion,dedicated to Paul....venting done, over and out!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Starting Over...
Wow, it’s been a while since I did this. It feels amazing!
Almost as if I am back in my apartment in Japan, all warm in bed with my hair messed up and ready to unleash my thoughts. Well, a lot has changed since then, I stopped blogging for almost 2 years, I am not sure why but mainly due to trying to settle back home and starting a new life after graduation. bla bla bla. Lame excuse, but yes, that's what happened.
I've been meaning to start again, especially seeing that my best friend is a constant blogger, love reading her stuff, so it inspired me to write again. Why today specifically? I do not know (yet). But let’s just say I am starting over.
So, whats new? Been home since 2009, trying to settle, isn't happening much, it seems like there are brick walls everywhere. Even when days seems so bright, and cheerful, and positive and just out of this world, there comes that brick straight in my face!
Got me thinking for days and days, how am I going to get over this, how to overcome this so called "culture shock in my own home". For now I do not have a solid answer but it made me think about all of us who've been abroad for "studies" and found it difficult to settle back. We talk talk talk talk, but when I sit back and watch how everyone’s life is at, we are all pretty much heading towards the same direction. A very steady typical life, staring straight into that damn brick wall.
In the midst of all my crazy thinking, I came across many realizations. The main one which, which brings me to the body of today’s entry, is the value of family. They are the most people I miss when away, the people who care the most, who worry the most, who call the most, who are always always there no matter what. As the eldest in the family, that much pressure is always on me and getting that little bit of independency gave me so much to give back to them which has strengthened my relationship with every member.
I know it may sound cheesy, but I feel good that when my little brother or sister say they want something, I can give it to them without them having to go to my mother all the time. It may be shoes, an ipod or even a big Mac, the fact that I can provide for my family means the world to me.
I was not very smiley when I started writing this piece but now I find myself smiling from ear to ear. It’s good to end things on a good note, that’s how I teach myself to be, trying to always to see the better picture of things.
Starting over, blogging again, my first entry dedicated to you, my family.
Almost as if I am back in my apartment in Japan, all warm in bed with my hair messed up and ready to unleash my thoughts. Well, a lot has changed since then, I stopped blogging for almost 2 years, I am not sure why but mainly due to trying to settle back home and starting a new life after graduation. bla bla bla. Lame excuse, but yes, that's what happened.
I've been meaning to start again, especially seeing that my best friend is a constant blogger, love reading her stuff, so it inspired me to write again. Why today specifically? I do not know (yet). But let’s just say I am starting over.
So, whats new? Been home since 2009, trying to settle, isn't happening much, it seems like there are brick walls everywhere. Even when days seems so bright, and cheerful, and positive and just out of this world, there comes that brick straight in my face!
Got me thinking for days and days, how am I going to get over this, how to overcome this so called "culture shock in my own home". For now I do not have a solid answer but it made me think about all of us who've been abroad for "studies" and found it difficult to settle back. We talk talk talk talk, but when I sit back and watch how everyone’s life is at, we are all pretty much heading towards the same direction. A very steady typical life, staring straight into that damn brick wall.
In the midst of all my crazy thinking, I came across many realizations. The main one which, which brings me to the body of today’s entry, is the value of family. They are the most people I miss when away, the people who care the most, who worry the most, who call the most, who are always always there no matter what. As the eldest in the family, that much pressure is always on me and getting that little bit of independency gave me so much to give back to them which has strengthened my relationship with every member.
I know it may sound cheesy, but I feel good that when my little brother or sister say they want something, I can give it to them without them having to go to my mother all the time. It may be shoes, an ipod or even a big Mac, the fact that I can provide for my family means the world to me.
I was not very smiley when I started writing this piece but now I find myself smiling from ear to ear. It’s good to end things on a good note, that’s how I teach myself to be, trying to always to see the better picture of things.
Starting over, blogging again, my first entry dedicated to you, my family.
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