The Wales are keeping me alive!

I always had difficulty leaving home, especially the first few days or so. There are always doubt in my mind and questions that I feel I will never get answers to. Why am I here? Did I have to leave? What if something bad happens at home and I am not there? Why me? It’s typical and only normal to be that way I suppose. As soon as I’d settle, all would be well and I would end up laughing at the nonsense I went through at the start. THIS TIME round…..boy oh boy was it different and I type this with a huge smile on my face :-) …..Let me share why (oh, feel free to smile with me)…

Probably the saddest feeling in the world is to be at home and feel like you do not belong. You have everything you could possibly need right at your finger trips, a good job, the greatest family, the sweetest friends yet it just didn’t feel right and I was extremely miserable inside. Was it because I was used to being abroad for 6 years that I felt that perhaps my freedom was somewhere else? Was it due to limited opportunity options in my own country? I am not too sure, whatever it is, it was making me very unhappy and I felt I needed to get away. Luckily, it fell along the lines of my career development and I just grabbed the chance I got and ran with it, ran like I saw heaven right in front of me, aimed at it with a smile and took off…:-)

Landed and straight away felt like home (ironic as this is where I was born). My darling mother was with me the first week and seeing how happy I was and how comfortable I felt scared her as she was not used to me being this way whenever I left home. Reassuring her didn’t work; a mother will always worry and not be at ease when things aren’t “normal”. “I feel you are being sarcastic” she told me several times whenever she asked how I feel and I’d reply with “mama, I feel amazing, I feel great, I am so happy”.

Nevertheless, she had to go back home and I officially started my new life, tricky as I am surrounded by the “younger” generation. Lucky for me I look like I am 19 so I blend in pretty well. Partied like a mad person at the beginning, but stopped when seriousness started and my mission for being here commenced. It feels like a brand new fresh start, my happiness comes from deep within and I believe no matter how I express it, nobody will actually know.

I am happy, VERY happy…:-)

This entry is dedicated to Wales, for giving me a chance at pursing my career, opening opportunity doors and most importantly bringing me back to life again.