The Wales are keeping me alive!

I always had difficulty leaving home, especially the first few days or so. There are always doubt in my mind and questions that I feel I will never get answers to. Why am I here? Did I have to leave? What if something bad happens at home and I am not there? Why me? It’s typical and only normal to be that way I suppose. As soon as I’d settle, all would be well and I would end up laughing at the nonsense I went through at the start. THIS TIME round…..boy oh boy was it different and I type this with a huge smile on my face :-) …..Let me share why (oh, feel free to smile with me)…

Probably the saddest feeling in the world is to be at home and feel like you do not belong. You have everything you could possibly need right at your finger trips, a good job, the greatest family, the sweetest friends yet it just didn’t feel right and I was extremely miserable inside. Was it because I was used to being abroad for 6 years that I felt that perhaps my freedom was somewhere else? Was it due to limited opportunity options in my own country? I am not too sure, whatever it is, it was making me very unhappy and I felt I needed to get away. Luckily, it fell along the lines of my career development and I just grabbed the chance I got and ran with it, ran like I saw heaven right in front of me, aimed at it with a smile and took off…:-)

Landed and straight away felt like home (ironic as this is where I was born). My darling mother was with me the first week and seeing how happy I was and how comfortable I felt scared her as she was not used to me being this way whenever I left home. Reassuring her didn’t work; a mother will always worry and not be at ease when things aren’t “normal”. “I feel you are being sarcastic” she told me several times whenever she asked how I feel and I’d reply with “mama, I feel amazing, I feel great, I am so happy”.

Nevertheless, she had to go back home and I officially started my new life, tricky as I am surrounded by the “younger” generation. Lucky for me I look like I am 19 so I blend in pretty well. Partied like a mad person at the beginning, but stopped when seriousness started and my mission for being here commenced. It feels like a brand new fresh start, my happiness comes from deep within and I believe no matter how I express it, nobody will actually know.

I am happy, VERY happy…:-)

This entry is dedicated to Wales, for giving me a chance at pursing my career, opening opportunity doors and most importantly bringing me back to life again.

The beginning of the rest of my life

Yes, the time has come. It’s been a while since I updated, been caught up with a lot and although at many times I had the urge to write, it just never happened and I was out of “the zone”.

Going abroad was always a piece of cake to me, however the transition wasn’t and the travel was even worse. Prepping to leave the country is a hassle, I tend to stress, panic, get worked up over nothing and above all throw the worst tantrums and have the most annoying mood swings you can imagine. In short, NO you do NOT want to be around me when I am preparing for a travel.

Nevertheless, this time round, the trip is different. I feel much more ready to face what’s ahead. I’ve got the right mind-set I suppose and at the same time I am extremely excited to start the journey and just get deep, dirty and grimy. The stakes are a lot higher now therefore my socks have to be pulled REAL up!!

I’ve pictured Cardiff to be many things in my mind, but I’d rather to put them down yet. The suspense is amusing and it makes me more eager to get there and actually experience it first hand before I update again.

Yes I am nervous and my heart is pounding, but I have faith, I have belief, I have courage and most importantly determination.

I dedicate this entry to the ones who have encouraged and supported me the most, the ones who constantly called and visited to check if I needed anything, the adorable ones who came home to help me back, the sweethearts who gave me a piece of them to take with me and the ones who will have me in their prayers and thoughts throughout my time away. I bid you farewell, until…… ;-)

The Red GAP

So, seeing as we were never close, what in the world gave u the right to enter my life the way you did?

Just like that, out of nowhere, your kind soul finds itself shielding me.

Falling down from “heaven” or should I said “a holiday”, you just placed your heart over mine and claimed it your own.

Maybe it is, Maybe it isn’t, time will tell. For now, I’ll just enjoy the red GAP, I am smiling at it right now and I will continue smiling at it every time I miss you.

To you my “shinning golden shooting star”, I dedicate this blog entry.